By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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