So gin and wine won't be happening again
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
