He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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