He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
