in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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