I cut my penus on the lid.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
