I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
