Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
