Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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