420 ftw
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
