Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize