And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
