Duck Duck Cougar?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
