Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
