he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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