The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
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