Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
