Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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