Is it normal to miss your booty call?
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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