I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
smell my finger.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
