I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
