so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
