The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
