Quick, to the slutcave!
I just gift wrapped bread.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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