I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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