R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
