Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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