I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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