i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
