i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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