You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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