no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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