i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
