tell your sister to shave her snatch
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
