i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
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