But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I want to have your abortion
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize