who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
