My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize