is your mom at the bar?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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