found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
