So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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