I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
These tits shall not be calmed
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