it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Too much gin, very little bucket
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
