She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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