I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
