Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I think i got beer on your cat.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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