She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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