He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
