I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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