I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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