Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
