there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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