I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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