Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
