If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
He passed out mid-signature
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
