Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize