Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
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