The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
